Saturday, November 8, 2008

Junior Year

I've just realized something:
Junior Year Sucks.
Yep.
It's just too much.
First of all, there's a ton of work.
Second, there's all the talk about college and the SAT.
Third, I have no friends to turn to.
Fourth, it just sucks.
Everything.
I could list more.
Everything I do seems to go Wrong.
Every night, before I go to bed, tears streak my face.
It' s just too much.
I can't handle it.
I just want everything to go away.
To disappear for a while.
So many things go wrong.
I'm failing History, and probably English too.
Things I used to know, I no longer know.
Something must be wrong with me.
I can't remember stuff anymore.
I'm even having trouble in German class,
which I never used to.
It's just too much.
I can't handle this.
I freak out at random times, at my family and only friend.
I cry, or get angry...
Of course, I don't even know if that one friend even cares about me one bit.
I can't deal with stress too well.
All around me, I see happy people.
People with groups of friends, couples, everyone.
But I have no one.
No one who cares.
No one to say "it's okay" when I'm afraid or upset.
And right now, I'm very scared.
I don't like the future.
It scares me.
I have no idea what I will do after high school,
yet my parents and teachers all want me to look at colleges.
Plus I seem to mess up every little thing I do.
I guess I just gotta deal with what life throws at me,
and go with the flow of things.
I just wish it wasn't so hard...

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