paranoia

I'm scared. Really scared.
I haven't spoken with my friend Brett in over three weeks.
Since July second, to be precise.
There's no reason for him to be mad at me or anything;
We hung out July 1st, had a great time,
and were chatting via text after and the next day.
But then, he just stopped replying.
So, maybe his phone ran out of power or something, I figured.
So a few days later, I texted him again. No reply.
So I tried calling. Voicemail.
It's been three weeks now.
I tried contacting him a few other times,
but to no avail.
I even tried e-mailing him,
which is pretty much useless since he never checks e-mail,
but it was worth a shot.
So phone's the only way I can contact him.
Now, logic says maybe his phone broke,
or maybe my phone's being stupid,
since it's a crap cheep company that has lots of problems.
My crazy mind thinks:
Oh no, something must have happened to him!
He could be in the hospital, or dead or something!
I always jump to crazy conclusions like that,
and it's really hard to shake them.
I get paranoid. A lot.
Especially about my friends.
Now, I know he can't be dead,
since there would be a news article or something online about it.
And even if he were in the hospital, he would contact me.
Unless he's in a coma...
oh, god, I hope he's not in a coma!
Shhh, calm down, calm down...
Larissa, stop it, stop thinking the worst...
Ugh, it sucks that he doesn't have a facebook,
or any kind of virtual presence
(at least involving his name;
maybe he has a username or something,
but I don't know it if he does.)
So there's no way for me to find out if he's alright.
Even if he is ignoring me/mad at me or something,
I would at least like to know if he's alright.
No, he can't be mad at me or ignoring me,
everything was perfectly fine between us,
and he said he'd maybe come over again,
and would definitely see me in the fall when school starts up.
We were even working out how we'd get our roomates out of the rooms.
And even if he were, he would definitely have replied,
when I texted him freaking out asking if he were okay and stuff.
So, if it can't be any of that, What the hell happened to him??
Okay, let's list more viable things:
1. He has overprotective parents. They may have taken his phone.
2. Maybe he went on vacation and has no cell signal/left phone at home.
3. Maybe he isn't getting my texts and the calls are dropping,
that's happened before- my phone company seems to have problems with his.
4. He's a sadistic bastard and is getting a rise out of me freaking out over this.
(Okay, maybe that last one isn't that viable, I do know he cares about me a lot.
I mean, he even asks my friends how I'm doing if I'm visiting them.)
Well, whatever it is, I know I have to stop freaking out.
it's just so hard, you know?
I'm an extremely paranoid person.
I freak out all the time that people hate me.
I freak out about my weight to the point of, well, nearly having an eating disorder.
Okay, it is an eating disorder... but I'm getting better, sort of.
Anyway, back to the subject:
Whatever it is, whatever the reason for not hearing from him,
I just have to be patient.
I know I will see him in the fall,
and everything will be good then.
I just have to stop being so paranoid...
Please, oh please, let him be okay.
God, I know I don't really believe in you,
but if you do exist,
please let him be okay.
And please let me know that he is.
I need to know he's okay.
Please, God, please.
Please.